Secrets of Couples Who Have Lots of Sex
Secrets of Couples Who Have Lots of Sex
Take your get-frisky frequency from every-so-often to off-the-charts with these way simple tricks...you won't believe life could be this lusty.
There are couples who have sex pretty often — say, a good three times a week. Then there are those twosomes who burn up the bedsheets so regularly, you have to wonder: How do they do it? They have full-time jobs, maybe a couple of kids and only 24 hours in the day, just like the rest of us. And yet somehow, their desire to get down and dirty manages to transcend these major time and energy (not to mention libido) drains. What's their secret?
Well, we talked with some of these extra-passionate pairs and found that the "tricks" that allow them to squeeze so much sex into their schedules are so insanely simple, we just had to pass the info on. Try their advice, and pretty soon you'll find that your day is full of opportunities to tear your clothes off. What's more, you'll get the passion humming between you and your guy 24/7 — and what couple wouldn't want that?
Secret #1: Assign a sex quota
When you're both juggling a billion things — work, kid's piano recital, calling the plumber — finding the time for a little lovin' can be the last thing on your mind. So to ensure it not only gets penciled in but takes top billing, steal Eliza's trick and give yourselves a weekly sex goal. "Seven years and two kids into our marriage, we became consumed by the chaos of daily responsibilities and let sex slide," says the 34-year-old. "We knew it was crucial to find time to be intimate, but a stock Friday-night-sex-date idea felt too contrived, so we created a variation: Every Monday we pick a random number and have to have sex that many times before the week ends. If three days go by with zero action, we know we've got to make up the time fast. For instance, the other day, while the kids were in the backyard with their grandmother, my husband called me into the garage to help him 'organize a shelf.' But when I got there, he grabbed me and pulled me into the backseat of the car. He said he had no choice since we needed to get busy to make the quota."
Secret #2: Crank up your doing-it drive
Carnal connoisseurs never sit around waiting for the mood to strike — they make the mood strike. Sasha, 36, got sick of holding out for her libido to spring into action: "I thought that desire was supposed to wash over me," she says. "But waiting for that to happen in the midst of dealing with the rest of our lives meant sex was becoming a very rare event." Now, whenever she and her husband have a window of opportunity, Sasha jump-starts her libido with some X-rated thoughts. "I reminisce about the last time my husband and I had great sex — his touch, his breath on my skin, his sweet murmurings in my ear," she says. "By focusing on my sexiest memories, I'll bring myself to a fired-up state that often leads us into bed."
Secret #3: Take turns giving and receiving
"My husband and I have different schedules, so we're not always boiling over with energy at the same times," says Heather, 39. "So we decided that when he's raring to go and I'm utterly beat, he can become the sexual ringmaster for the night. I'll lie back and let him turn me on: There are times when I literally don't raise a finger and just enjoy the ride. It's guilt-free because he knows he'll get the favor returned another night."
If, like Heather, you make a deal with your man that you'll trade off take-charge roles, you'll double the number of your sexcapades and keep your partnership brimming with erotic energy no matter how tired you are. "Think of all those times you bagged the idea because one of you was too pooped," points out Heather. "We're so much happier now because we're making an effort to keep the thrills coming."
Secret #4: Rejigger your carnal clock
If you keep sex relegated to the dud time slot between the 10 o'clock news and passing out on the pillow, it's gonna suffer. Ditch the restricting notion that sex is a bedtime ritual, and suddenly you'll discover lots of little daily openings to do it in. "Our best sex is the five-thirty fling, when my husband and I both get home from work," says Jenny, 34. "Stripping off each other's work clothes is so hot that we both spend the afternoon looking forward to it." Happy hour isn't the only prime time to pounce. Weekend afternoons or midmornings, first thing pre-work...the totally satisfied set never discriminates. "Seven in the morning is the only time we have to ourselves, so that's when we get it on," says Anne, 37. "I swear, we've gone from once-a-weekers to sexaholics."
Secret #5: Have a titillating soundtrack
Music has a way of altering people's moods in an instant, so it comes as no surprise that the right CD could steer you straight to the bedroom. Rachel, 33, knows exactly what to play to pump up the passion. "During our honeymoon, my husband and I had awesome sex to Prince," she says. "Now when we hear it, we both get that sly twinkle in our eyes. To make sure we do it often, one of us will play it as a clear sign that we're about to, um, make music together. It's kept our marriage just as passionate as it was when we first tied the knot."
Secret #6: Consider sex a cure-all
Excuses, excuses — it's so easy to find reasons to put off slipping into the sack. You're exhausted. You're stressed. You're annoyed and bickering over something silly. Stop right there and consider what sexy sirens know all too well: that doing the deed can actually alleviate exhaustion, stress and tension — the very things that are supposedly keeping you from getting down in the first place! Once Alix, 33, realized that having sex would energize her rather than drain her, she found plenty of opportunities to use a little lovin' for an energy boost. "I used to always succumb to exhaustion when I was home," she says. "But now, when I'm tired, instead of shrugging off my husband's seduction attempts, I'll tell myself, 'Just do it — you'll be glad you did afterward.'" And she always is. "It's taken our lovemaking frequency from so-so to nearly every day," she says. "It's so great to think of sex as a way to connect and feel calmer rather than just another thing on my to-do list."
Secret #7: Be passionate...all day
Doing-it dynamos don't reserve their libidinous fervor just for the bedroom. These people live sexually, adding spice to everyday activities. As a result, they develop a heightened sense of desire, which makes them crave sex 24/7. "I consciously add some zing to all different little areas in my life," says Amanda, 35. "I do things like wear silky undies, buy myself an ice cream cone and eat it really suggestively or take the most luxurious shower before work with all sorts of scrubs and creams. They keep that erotic energy in me at a constant hum. Plus, they're all subtle activities that don't require hiding from my daughters."Of course, you want him to be buzzing with sexual electricity too. "I do things in the morning that get him lusting after me," says Diana, 34. "A stretch while I'm getting dressed, where I raise my arms, arch my back and stick my chest out in front of him, does wonders. Calling out to him from the shower to bring me a towel gives him dirty ideas too. I give him an eyeful that he reruns in his mind all day. Sex is inevitable that evening."
Secret #8: Don't saddle sex with tons of work
Passionately prolific couples have a philosophy: Frequent sex, no matter what kind, is an absolute must. So if sex sometimes has to be a quickie — a.k.a. a fast-and-furious romp without romantic trimmings — so what? It's still good sex. "You have to go with the moment," advises Elizabeth, 38. "If the kids are coming home from school in 20 minutes, don't try to light a bunch of candles and dig out your Al Green album. This is when you nab the window of opportunity and jump on each other. It's done wonders for our sex life."
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